 When you know you are ready for change, it’s interesting how you can begin to feel a level of frustration beneath your cool and seemingly calm exterior. However, the truth is, you know you are a ticking time bomb ready to explode. You may be feeling a low level of frustration, which can begin with irritations with your partner, resentment towards your boss or colleagues, anxiety that seems to surface at night, or waves of feeling disconnected, drained, or being ‘out of whack’ with yourself. To reduce inner overwhelm, we may be tempted to control our environment to create more calm and certainty in our lives. I get it - this used to be me. It wasn't until years later I recognised the signs, and then the 'gold'. To my disbelief - I was the one being judgmental! As someone who loves to be organised, attempting to control my environment and everyone in it, was how I managed my children and my husband at a time when life was full-on with family duties, going to work, and staying on top of everything that daily life brings. At the time, I didn’t see this as a negative thing at all, but I did feel exhausted, and I never felt as though there was enough time for me. Over time, the life and fun were draining out of me, leaving me feeling resentful and peed-off with the world. Years later, when I recognised the signs, I noticed it began with being irritated by people’s behaviour - in the home and at work. This would lead to making negative comments, imposing my opinions upon others, and responding with moody body language - all because my expectations or preferences were not being met. Of course, I wasn’t consciously aware I was doing this. As far as I was concerned, other people needed to get on board with my perspective, so they could ‘improve’ their lives (which really meant - so I could feel comfortable and my needs were being met). It was many years later, following my own inner pilgrimage, where I gained invaluable insights that resulted in publishing my book “The Power of Soul Loving - A Spiritual Guide to Love and Freedom”. We don’t like to believe we are being controlling or judgmental. The truth is, every time we externalise (make it about other people or situations), we are deflecting responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions.  Judgment is one of those habits that can quietly slip into our thoughts without us even realising it. Our focus becomes - what they should be doing differently, how they should behave, or why they should see things our way. The challenge with judgment is that it narrows our vision. When we judge another person, we erode the respect we hold for others - their choices, their voice, their wisdom, and even their lived experience. Our attention turns outward, picking apart behaviours, words, or skills that don’t align with our own standards. From there, it’s easy to move into subtle forms of control: trying to influence, correct, or reshape someone so they fit into our expectations. But wait - here’s the GOLD. Judgment of others almost always reflects the way we are judging ourselves. If we hold harsh criticism within, we are far more likely to project that critical lens outward. When we believe we are “not enough” or fear that we lack value, we unconsciously measure others against the same impossible standard. It’s a mirror, showing us our own insecurities, fears, and the low vibrational state we may be inhabiting.  So what’s the alternative? Observation without attachment. Respect without interference. Neutrality that honours another’s right to walk their path, learn their lessons, and trust their intelligence to meet life in their own way. Emotional maturity asks us to expand into acceptance, not necessarily agreement, but a willingness to allow others to be who they are while we soften the harshness of our own inner critic. When we choose neutrality over judgment, our vibration rises. We create space for compassion, deeper connection, and mutual growth. Instead of shutting doors with criticism, we open pathways of understanding, both within ourselves and in our relationships with others. When we let go of needing to be ‘right’, or having everything work perfectly in our favour, we open ourselves to more inner calm, less overwhelm and anxiety, and we release the incessant need to control everything and everyone. The result - a happier version of you - who can live with more simplicity, more energy, and more clarity. The point is - if you are noticing this pattern of behaviour in yourself, then - Where are you judging yourself? If you notice feelings of disappointment in others, or the perceived lack of something in someone, ask yourself - Where is this happening in me? Where do I feel disappointment or a lack in myself? Sometimes we can’t ‘see’ the gap in ourselves - a case of ‘we don’t know what we don’t know’. For others, this may already be very clear to you, but you are struggling to know how to change this. If this resonates with you, and you know it’s time to create positive change and progress in your life, reach out and let me know. I can help you create that transformation through my self-paced online personal development programs. This may be the perfect time for you to prioritise your growth, and embrace your true essence, so you can bloom into the person you know you were always meant to be. If you would like to learn more about how to create a more balanced life, restore calm and reconnect with your true nature, ask me about “The Way of Simplicity Program” - a 3-Month Self-Discovery program - the foundation of every woman’s well-being. Rebecca Gabrielle
Your Spiritual Life Coach | Creator of the S.E.E. Program for Women SageAwakenings.com.au
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Services |
Company |
|
